choices

9 months and 19 days old

It's been a while since I've blogged and I just realized just how much I've missed it.  Writing here has been therapy.  More than a baby journal this 'lil blog is a mama diary.  

So here I am putting thoughts into words again.  It's been quite a whirlwind of events the past few weeks.  Since December I began accepting catering jobs again.  Initially I thought of working so I could make some cash and shop for some Christmas presents for my sweet family.  Then of course as soon as I opened the door and wished for jobs to come my way- catering jobs indeed came one by one- one after the next.  Currently I've got events lined for the month of February and a wedding in June.

I'm extremely grateful and happy to be reminded just how much I love what I do.  Cooking for people and planning special events brings out the best in me.  

Certainly GREAT things are taking place.

My sweet 'lil baby is growing to be the sweetest boy.  He really is.  He has such a happy disposition.  Often times even though he has no idea what Chris and I are discussing he'll laugh out loud just to get in on the conversation.  Leon has brought our lives so much joy and I feel so privileged to watch his personality unfold right before my eyes.

Chris and I have always thrown the idea around of having a small cafe.  Catering has been rewarding however the minus side is the difficulty of transporting food and not having a definite home base.  All along we knew that location is the key to having a successful cafe.  Well one day Chris comes home and claims he has found just the right spot.  WOW.  So the Cherubini's rushed to check the place out and fell in love.  It was the perfect spot.  Suddenly all the amazing possibilities came rushing into mind.  

We got the ball rolling almost immediately.  A trusted contractor laid out the plans, the meeting with the city and building inspectors were set and the lease was scheduled to be signed.  

And then it struck me.  "What about Leon?"  "Who's going to take care of my boy?"  

Chris and I brainstormed and wracked our brains trying to figure an arrangement for Leon but in the end- after days of thinking it all boils down to the fact that I'm not ready to leave my son at a daycare or with a nanny.  

Having a cafe in the perfect commercial spot and having a home base for Belly Bliss has been an ultimate dream.  That will never change.  It will always be the one thing that some day I wish to achieve.  Leon's childhood happens only this one time and I have this one shot at being "present" for him.  It took me an entire day to make peace with the decision.  I have to admit it was hard.  Although I know in my heart that choosing to be a full time mama for Leon is most important.  I would never want to look back and realize that I was unavailable for my child.